Don't touch that dial!
Leasing guru John Plueger on a spoof answerphone message once joked about International Lease Finance (ILFC) during the darker days of 2003.
"Thank you for calling ILFC.
If you need to return aircraft prematurely, press 1. If you need to restructure leasing payments, press 2. If you need immediate refund of cash deposits, press 3. If all other suppliers agreed to co-operate except ILFC, press 4. If you want to lease an aircraft and if you actually have the cash to do so press 5 and one of our executives will pick up the phone immediately."Errr...dude
Bombardier's fab new enhanced vision system has been shortened to BEVS - or "Beavis" as it is becoming better known. As for the HUD, well that's the "Butthud", of course. BEVS and Butthud...geddit?
Yet more minijets
...with appreciation to Nephews Lambert et al.
MyFirstJet, SensibleJet, Not-for-a-million-Jet, BasicJet, MyJet, PetJet...and from the very sensible makers of the real thing, the Eclipse 500: "We prefer Very Light Jets."
Budget blockbuster
(Austin Reid, BMI chief executive, speaking at the Merrill Lynch European Transport Conference on one of the reasons for the success of low-cost carriers [LCC] in Europe).
"Established airlines believed that this particular movie [LCCs] would never be shown in a cinema near them. In fact, there may be some of those movie goers still around in Europe!"
Blue LCCs
And while we're on the subject of LCCs, Song, the low-cost arm of Delta Air Lines, which likes to "have fun" and encourages its customers to "let yourself fly", recently decided to curb its enthusiasm. As part of its "have fun" image, the interior designers have painted "Oh baby" on the foldaway baby changing tables in the lavs. The producers of a forthcoming Britney Spears video thought it would be a great idea for the entertainer to use this "facility" in a scene in which she "takes someone into a bathroom and does something risqu‚". On being shown the script, the airline "declined" the filming offer.
Low-cost conundrum
Q: How do you know when you are finally making money as a low-cost carrier?
A: When people come to your website looking for the lowest airfares but can't actually get them because of good revenue management practices.
Source: Flight International
